Tuesday, June 20, 2006

NOT for the squeamish. (You've been warned.)

Here's the email I sent out this morning:

"4:30 in the morning is TOO EARLY to be cleaning up puppies & crates! When I opened up May Bee's crate this morning, she hadn't *tinkled*...she'd thrown up all the June bugs she'd eaten last night!

So I quickly put May Bee (should have named her June Bee!) in the backyard and took the crate to the front yard for "dead insect stew" removal. Mike keeps a little fan on the front porch for blowing away his cigar smoke so I turned that on the crate, and while it blew dry, it was time to bathe the puppy.

After a kitchen sink bath that got me as wet as the puppy, we toweled off in the backyard and I encouraged her to "go" in her special area. (I don't think she had a drop left in her digestive system, however, so that was a bust.)

The whole time I stood out there with her at the back of the lot (Mike & I read that we must be patient and wait 10-15 minutes sometimes), my arms were itching and *burning* (especially my left arm) from all the dog & Dog Yack contact. I kept them in the wind and thought cool, refreshing thoughts, but when I got inside, I had a welt on my left arm that was as big as a nickel! I've washed it thoroughly and put aloe vera gel on it, but it's still growing. It looks like an alien is going to shoot out of it at any second (see attached photo). The picture didn't turn out well (pale welt on a pale arm), but you might be able to make it out.
BTW, if a June bug bursts outta my welt later this morning, you will never hear from me again..."

And then, when the sun came up, I took a picture of the Ick in the front yard. It's gross. So disgusting. (Mike thinks it's cool that I took a picture.) Scroll down at your peril.

Update: After a little Internet research, it turns out that May Bee wasn't eating green June bugs, after all; she was eating brown MAY BEEtles. Her name is perfect in so many ways!!

According to
May beetles are actually a tasty treat! (I just threw up in my mouth a little.) An actual quote from the page:

"If eating insects interests you, the May Beetle is a best choice. When toasted in hot ashes, the internal body parts and juices of the bug congeal into an edible nugget. After peeling off shriveled legs, wings, and wing case, the remaining tidbit can be eaten one at a time or by the handful. Toasted May Beetles have a surprisingly sweet taste. The flavor is said to resemble thick raw molasses or crudely made cane syrup. If mixed with warm milk, it has a malted milk taste."

Are you thinking what I'm thinking? What kind of a nut *knows* how May beetles taste? (And exactly how hungry would I have to be to enjoy the "malted milk taste" of the insects dying on their backs under my porch light?)

No comments: