Sunday, February 24, 2008

The terrible, horrible, no-good, very bad day…

May Bee bit a man in the park today. (She’s never bitten ANYONE, EVER!!)

While he was trying to staunchstanch…stop the bleeding with a tissue, he asked me to dinner.

(I declined.)

As we continued to talk (and monitor his blood loss), he asked if I’d like to go up in his airplane. He has a pilot’s license and often flies to the MetroPlex on business.

(I declined again…although with a little hesitation this time. I’m just through with men, but he was being so nice about May Bee, insisting it was HIS fault for pointing right in her face and scaring her. He absolutely refused all of my apologies! And he was being so TOUGH about being bitten…that must have really hurt, but he was not showing any pain.)

Oh, and earlier that day, before May Bee went all medieval on innocent citizens in the park, I’d had to clean up Misha’s TWO accidents. The worst kind. (Misha’s new name? Diarrhea Dog.)

Karen and the girls all shared a big laugh as they watched me try to pick up vast amounts of um…semi-solids with old grocery bags. (Molly was bent double, leaning on her mother, as she belly-laughed. It was actually pretty funny, and I would have been laughing, too, if I hadn’t been busy retching.)

After taking The Sickie back to Mike’s so she could foul HIS backyard, May Bee and I headed back to the park to do another mile and a half (that’s when the Carnage and Flirtation began).

And now? I just took ibuprofen and am getting in bed with a heating pad…even though I should be working on tomorrow’s presentation I’ll be conducting LIVE via the district’s Distance Learning TV carts!

7 comments:

Kirsten said...

Okay, where was your VIDEO camera??? Cell phone does wonders!!! Did you get his name and address? After all you do have to send him a condolence card and some chocolate, wine might be nice too!!! Aaaargh, you must be getting old :-) (you, not me!!!)

Well, maybe there are more details tomorrow at work (hint)?!

Dan said...

Kirsten! What?? Where is your brain, ah, ah, mind ah...?
Next time Kristy, go with us. It was a hallmark day. First time with one of the Mausers, M48 Yugo.
Why was Kirsten so good with it???
Sorry to hear about your doggie mis-adventures. We need a new gun, Getting routine now. Maybe Maybae can Track. Have you heard about pilots?

The Raabs said...

Glad you found our blog - thanks for stopping by to comment (just got back from a week in Germany, so it has taken a while to respond). Was wondering how you ran into us on in the blogosphere.
It has been fun looking around your blog at all of the AHS and various Abilene stuff. Thanks!

(keugqxkf - the sound you 'enjoyed' coming from your dog? - and the word verification on this comment)

Anonymous said...

You mean to tell me that a man asked you out while you were at the track, which is when you look your worst, mom, and you said no?! You mean to tell me that you declined dinner with a man who had just been bitten by your dog?! At least you're committed.

beth

Karen Freeman said...

This is precisely why my dog gets his exercise in his own backyard, chasing light beams we flash for him. There's no one for him to maul and I don't have to handle semi-soft, still-warm doggie-deposits.

I'm reminded of Seinfeld's bit on dog owners. He asked something like, "If aliens were observing our society and saw one creature leading another by a strap, and every time the leader relieves himself, the creature at the other end of the tether cleans it up, who will the aliens assume is in charge?"

Nope. Ben can stay in the yard, thank you very much!

You did give the pilot my number, though, right? ;-)

Kirsten said...

Okay, ya'll, I got more info today, and she can not, repeat CAN'T, ever, go out with that guy!!!
Nope, she won't take one for the team on that one. A teacher and I gave her the advice to change her walking hours. Under no circumstances should she find contact with that guy...he might be on Geritol and Viagra! Heart meds also! Or was that stroke??? Get my drift...she can not meet up with that guy again :-)
Hey, Kristy, you'll do what ever you want anyways, but...!
Take care!


P.S. do we all live through you?

Jason said...

Kristy...

handguns akimbo...
(akimbo might be slang... gamer/nut term for "duel-wielding...")

Next time you need to go! :)