Sunday, March 18, 2007

Yesterday's exercise partner...

Why it’s SCARY to take May Bee to the park:

*May Bee doesn’t seem to care for children; in fact, she views all short people as something to bite. Or eat. (Either way, it involves *chewing children*, and that’s just wrong.)

*She HATES all wheeled conveyances…roller blades, baby strollers, scooters, bikes…pretty much all of the things people enjoy at the park.

*Children on wheels make her muy LOCO!!

*She bit Ms. Batko’s dog(!)…and seems to want to fight all canine comers. (How can a dog so zenned out in her basket at home be so pugnacious in the park?)

*She can not grasp/does not care to learn the “Heel!” command; yesterday's walk/run was a three-mile contest of wills. (OTOH, it’s a great workout for my left arm; I look like Popeye on that side.)

*Unlike Saint Misha, May Bee hasn’t learned the cardinal rule about NOT CROSSING IN FRONT of a human companion, thereby tripping Her Person with the leash. She sends me sprawling if she sees anything potentially edible on our right-hand side…a plump dove, an unattended toddler, a moth, a poodle with a limp…

*May Bee likes to dive head-first into holes, hoping to come up with a mouthful of rodent. Yesterday, she dove into one that was covered with leaves; I didn’t even know it was there! She must have smelled it or somehow sensed it because, all of a sudden, she jumped into the air and converted her body into a streamlined missile as she plunged back earthward. Her long nose cut through the dense leaf cover, and she went a good 8-10 inches headfirst into the HUGE hole. It looked like the ground was swallowing my dog.

Why it’s FUN to take May Bee to the park:

*When she’s not trying to bite people, they always say how pretty she is.

*Watching her dive into holes is kinda’ funny. (If she ever comes up with a prairie dog, it will cease being amusing.)

*That dog can run. I’m beat after three miles; May Bee could go on for hours.

*She’s so shiny and sleek and pretty. If you have an eye for beauty, you’d be proud to run beside this dog. (Also, perhaps passers-by will be so interested in the little black “Weimador” that they won’t see the waves of pale fat rippling across her mistress as she huffs and puffs her way around the track.)

*She’s learned to drink from a sport bottle after our walk. (It’s adorable.)


Kirsten said...

Ohhh, look at that May Bee. She's so sweet and likes me too :-) Guess I'll have to teach Jaeger how to drink out of that sports bottle, but he probably just wants to eat it! He chews up everything that's plastic.

mad4books said...

Finally, a comment about May Beetle!

(I was starting to think everyone disliked her as much as The Husband...)


Linda said...

I just watched Fox News at 10, and the new doggie park in Roanoke was being reported on as it just opened today. There are rules, and #1 rule is "Aggressive Dogs are unwelcome." May Bee would not be welcome! Do you put the muzzle on her at the park? I think her behavior is rooted in her jealousy of you! When I visit, keep that muzzle handy. Love, Mom

Misadventures of the Dynamic Uno said...

While May Bee is a beautiful looking dog, now we understand why I'm a cat person. Of course that probably stems from being attacked by dogs when I was a child. Hmmm.... (Madison usually runs for cover when children or other people are around. (She's such a "scaredy cat."*g*)